The man who fell in love with the golden cow.

The old farmer Alistar was lost walking in the dark forest when he suddenly saw a bright light from a nearby location, he went closer to the light and heard someone or something yell:
-YOU CAN’T MILK THOSE!
At first he was terrified but when he came closer he saw a cute baby cow that was yellow and shining like gold. It was love at first sight.
Alistar carried the cow back to the farm. A couple of days went by and Alistar couldn’t take his eyes of the cow, he would spend every hour watching the cow when he was awake and he also started sleeping with the cow.
The next morning the cow started talking and said:
-Hello, do not fear human.
Alistar was shocked and became speechless. Alistar asked:
-Who are you? And where are you from?
The cow said:
My name is Charran and I’m one of the last golden bulls, I’m from The Great Barrier.
Alistar chatted with Charran for a while. Then he just gazed at Charran … He realized he was in love with the golden bull.
He didn’t want to say anything to Charran before he got to know him better.
Alistar spent more and more time with Charran and his wife Wilma got really concerned about him and wanted to get rid of the cow. She was starting to suspect that Alistar was in love with the cow.
The next night Alistar went to charran when he was sleeping, he just stood there and watched the glow for a while and then he woke Charran up. With a smooth voice he said:
-I know this is sudden But I want to spend the rest of my life with you…will… will you marry me?
Charran started laughing really evil it sounded something like:
-HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE. Then Charran said:
-I’m a guy and I’m not really into humans that much … especially not guys.
Alistar tried to kiss Charran but Charran refused to. Then Alistar tried to rape charran screamed:
-You mess with the bull and you get the horn!
But when it didn’t workto rape Charran was fighting for his life not to get raped Alistar realized he needed to go for another tactic, so he went to the shed outside the house and got his tranquilizer. He shot Charran 5 times with the Tranquilizer to be sure that he wouldn’t wake up while he was raping him. Alistar started to Rape charran while he was sleeping, he was afraid that Charran would wake up while he was raping him but he had used enough shots from the tranquilizer to make an elephant sleep for 2 hours.

Suddenly Wilma came into the room, she started screaming she ran downstairs and called the police.
5 minutes later officer Luske came to the house he was going to arrest Alistar for sodomi.
Luske was not very bright at all and he has not even figured out how to put handcuffs on a person. Luske went upstairs and was going to arrest Alistar. But when he came to the room he saw Alistar lying dead on the floor his stomach had been penetrated by Charrans horns.
Charran was furious and as high as he could he screamed:
-NOTHING CAN HOLD ME BACK!
He head butted Luske, and Luske fell dead to the ground then Charran pulverized Luske’s head and let out a triumphant roar then he trampled all over Lusked body. Charran started running downstairs and he was going to fulfill his unbreakable will of killing Alistars family after what Alistar had done to him.
He ran downstairs and pulverized Wilma’s whole body and then raped her.
And then Charran lived happily ever after even though he was going to die alone and always carry around the memory of being raped by a farmer.

The end…

Och den här berättelsen ska Elias lämna in till sin engelskalärare♥ (Det var en läxa)

EHM.. Har inte hänt något särskilt idag så... Hejdå :D